


Eye of the storm

by VPABA



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergent, Dramaaaa, Fights, Married Couple, Oops, Regrets, Starklings, argument, the strom is nasty, there's a strom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26447083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VPABA/pseuds/VPABA
Summary: A letter is enough to reveal problems that have been ignored for too long. Catelyn and Ned are confronted with their old grudges.
Relationships: Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	1. Dark clouds ahead

**Author's Note:**

> Hello world, 
> 
> here's a story I wanted to do for a long time but never had the strengh to write it, until now.  
> Hope you'll appreciate, I poured my angst and drama into it. :))
> 
> Characters are GRRM’s, our master

**— Rickon I —**

Rickon trotted contentedly behind his brother, his sister, and his mother in Winterfell’s courtyard. He’d been surprised when his mother had come in his room and bid him to dress to go outside the gates. Earlier he had heard yells coming from his father’s solar and the two voices were his parents's. Robb had said it was because Lord Karstark was giving his parents trouble over the lands around the Last River and they didn’t agree on what to do. He supposed that going outside riding was a way for his mother to clear her mind. He looked up to see her smiling at the sight of horses. She was pretty.

It was a sunny day and it was rather warm, unlike anything mother might have said. The sun was shining and a cool breeze swirled in everybody’s hair, his own curls were raging on his head. He wore a simple leather tunic with his cape on his shoulder, much like Bran and Arya. As for mother, she wore her blue gown with the trout brooch he liked.

Since they were going out of Winterfell for a simple ride, he would go on the horse with his mother and he was very excited about it, it wasn’t often that she had time for horse riding.

He knew Harwin would come with them, and he would be riding Elmer, the great chestnut stallion that was as fast as a thousand ravens. He’d been on Elmer once, and he’d trotted in the pasture with Abbot, father’s horse. Abbot was always the first horse to be spotted in the stables because he was as white as snow and outshined every other horse. Just after him, there was Chollima, mother’s great black mare. Chollima was super hard to ride and let mother only, and she wasn’t particularly nice to anyone who wasn’t mother or himself or his brothers and sisters or Hullen and Harwin. Once he’d seen Jory in the pasture with Chollima, Jory was a great rider but at the time he had looked like he’d never been on a horse!

" Lady Stark. " Hullen lowered his head and then looked at them four smiling. " May I help you? "

" Hello Hullen, we’re going on a ride outside. Would you care to attend to the horses with us? " Hullen smiled. " I suppose it’ll be Chollima, Astutus, and Aquilo. And what for the little lord? " Mother turned to look at him and the corner of her lip turned upward. " He’ll come with me. "

Rickon nodded grinning at Hullen. " On Chollima my lady? " Mother answered yes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and as if Chollima was a nice little foal.

" All right my lady. Did lord Stark assign guards to you? " Rickon watched as a shadow crossed his mother’s face, he knew Arya and Bran had seen it too. " I was thinking your son could come with us. Would that be all right? " The maester of horses nodded hesitantly.

They all dressed the horses and he was glad to see Chollima was totally indifferent to him but the brush was too big for his hand and he could only reach the mare’s belly with his height.

" You know sweetling, once this mare was tinier than you were. " He looked up surprised, it was as if she read his mind. "Really? Like when Sica was born?" She nodded. "Exactly." He recalled the classes with maester Luwin from two days ago, they had talked of birth and Luwin had said every man was once a baby. He knew that but to think about it was funny. He’d then pictured his father being fussy over not being able to go play in the snow or his mother complaining about the cold of the rivers. He’d gone to Old Nan the very night and the woman had told him many tales.

"Mother, do you remember when you were a baby?" She laughed and he felt the warmth in his cheeks growing. "I don’t Rickon, I know stories of my infancy but I can’t recall. What about you? Can you recall anything sweetling? "

Rickon wondered, he was five but he was way past babyhood. He recalled some things there and there but he knew it was because people had told him. The story about him crawling on queen Cercei’s lap and spilling his glass of water, that he’d never forget, no one would. He knew he’d cried an exhausting amount of time in his father’s solar just when he had a lot of work. He knew how he’d driven Letty crazy. He knew how Bran had wanted to send him away when he was born because ‘mother wouldn’t love me anymore’. He knew those things, but he was told.

" I think I remember you. Like not remember but… I don’t know. " Mother crouched in front of him not caring for the mud for a second. Her eyes gazed over him seriously, but not the scolding serious. He sighed because he knew the boys would be laughing at him if they saw but they were alone so he wrapped his arms around her neck. Then he felt her arms coming around him and wrapping him in a bear hug.  
With his head buried in her neck, her smell, and being all crushed against her he said " Yes. That, I recall that. "

She chuckled and let go of him to look at him. " Yes, I remember _that_ too. " He felt all lighter when she looked at him like that. " You may be five, but you’ll always be my tiny babe. "  
He groaned. " I’m not tiny! " Then again she chuckled. " You are to me. Come on, let’s get Chollima ready so we can get on her. " He wrapped his arms once more around her neck and kissed her soundly on the cheek before kneeling to grab the brush he’d let fall on the straw.

Harwin helped him up on the horse and placed him in front of his mother who pulled him closer so his back was resting against her. He looked around, Arya was all ready to kick Astutus thought the South Gate. Bran sat calmly on Aquilo right beside him, he could even reach him if he stretched his arm.

" Bran! I’m on Chollima, look! "

His brother shrugged his shoulder and patted Aquilo’s neckline. " Yeah, but you’re with mother. I have a horse of my own. " Rickon frowned.

" Exactly. I’m with mother. You are not. "

He felt the arm around him hold him tighter so he silenced and just looked ahead. It wasn’t his mother’s fault if she didn’t understand why Bran was stupid. Then it occurred to him his father wasn’t here. He almost shifted to ask his mother but then he recalled Robb had said they had yelled.

Just then Robb and Jory walked into the courtyard. " Robb! Look I’m on Chollima! " Robb smiled and patted the horse neck then looked up behind him at their mother.

" We saw you from the solar. Where are you going? "

" You and Sansa must stay with your father today Robb. He wanted to show you something. I’m taking your siblings for a short ride. " He liked the feeling of the vibration in her chest when she talked. It was as if he could alone really be with her.

" Father sent me to ask you, he didn’t know. "

Rickon felt his mother shift on the saddle to look at the Great Keep so he did the same and followed her gaze to the solar’s window. It was all tiny from the distance but he could clearly see that someone was standing at it. It was probably his father. Or Sansa. He couldn’t tell.

" No, I didn’t tell him. I’d like it if you could tell him we’ll be going with Harwin and it shan’t be long. As for you, you listen carefully to your father Robb, his lessons are precious. "

Robb nodded and Rickon found his brother incredibly older than his age. He’d heard at breakfast when father had asked both Robb and Sansa to spend the day with him so he’d show them stuff. They did that a lot lately. Robb was to be Lord of Winterfell after father so he had to know these things, as for Sansa, she was to be the lady of a castle and had to know this stuff, just like mother did. And then Arya was still too young for it. And she wasn’t a lady.

He watched as his brother walked away from the very same path he’d come. Harwin kicked his horse to level them.

" All right my lady, are you ready? "

" Yes, let’s go. Bran, Arya, whatever happens, you listen to Harwin. " That was the scolding voice. " I’ll be going at my own pace with your brother. "

Hullen walked up to them. " My lady. If you could wait one more minute, Jory is to join you. " Mother gasped but Hullen continued. "Lord Stark asked Jory to accompany you wherever it was you were going. "

" Thank you Hullen. "

Rickon knew well that his mother didn’t need to voice her thoughts to make everyone know what she was thinking, he could almost feel her irritation. He looked as Jory trotted to join the party.

"My lady." All of a sudden all the irritation was gone from her and she said courteously " Thank you for coming Jory."

Mother kicked Chollima forward and he was shoved backward against her at the movement, he loved it. Chollima was as light as air and when she walked it was just as eager as gracious, unlike Abbot that was more fierce and strong, and a bit slower.

People cleared the way when they approached, Rickon felt all-mighty at that because it felt official. And when it was official he was usually on the ground, not on the horse. And to be seen by all Winterfell with his lady mother made him very proud. Outside the gates, there were some cabins from the Winter Town and people cleared the path as well.

His mother led the way with all the graciousness she was known for. Rickon had heard people of Winterfell talk, and whenever it was about the Lady Stark, it was usually good. Except for that one time when he had to kick Ella Cassel, Rodrik’s granddaughter because she said 'Lady Stark is a southron that doesn’t belong to the North’. He knew he’d been right because when his father had taken him to his solar so he could explain himself, he had laughed at the story and he didn’t punish him.

The town slowly faded to give place to Winterfell’s large moors. They all galloped and Rickon cherished the sensation of being faster than the wind and being surrounded by his family. After some time, his mother slowed down and Jory did as well.

Ahead of them, there was the Wolfswood and further, there was Castle Cerwyn. Even further there was the Neck and then the lands of the South. Rickon often wondered what it was like the south of the Neck.  
Robb and Sansa went south with mother once, to Riverrun. Arya did too but she was too young and couldn’t remember. And Bran was a tiny baby. Sansa told him the rivers were amazing and very different from the White knife. She told him they’d all swam in the current with mother but father stayed on the bank terrified. She taught him how to swim in the hot pool in the godswood but apparently it was very different because the water there was still, and the Red Fork was everything but still.

" You’re very silent sweetling. "

He looked up at his mother who gazed at him all peaceful but with a torrent of emotions in her eyes, like the rivers he supposed. Arya and Bran were ahead with Harwin, already urging their horses faster; Jory walked peacefully right beside them. He liked Jory.

"I’d like to go to Riverrun one day." He knew the smile on his mother’s lips would widen and it did. "And I would like very much to see you there."

He turned to look at Jory. "Have you ever been to Riverrun Jory? "

" I have Rickon. I went there with your parents the last time. I’d say it was about eight years ago."  
Eight years suddenly seemed very long to him, he wondered how one could spend so much time apart from their family. He’d seen his grandfather only once in his life, it was about two years ago when they all met for his mother’s nameday.

Rickon listened carefully as Jory told his tale about Riverrun, he detailed every single towers and pond that were as bright as their reflection in the water. Sometimes his mother would nod recalling herself the specifics of the castle she grew up in. At some point, the discussion between the two adults drifted to more serious matters and Rickon gazed at his siblings galloping in the distance.  
He was about to ask his mother to go faster when he heard that her tone had drastically changed.

"I know Jory. He told me but I don’t see the point of this decision." She paused. "Rickard Karstark is a loyal bannerman to Ned, but the man won’t understand that strength isn’t always the best solution." Jory stopped his horse. "And what would you have Ned do then?" His mother stopped the horse as well. "This is something that needs to be taken care of diplomatically. He can’t just show up at the Dreadfort beating every Bolton that trespass the Last River. And going there would inevitably look like he’s picking sides among his bannermen. No, he should have them both come to Winterfell."

Rickon looked back and forth between the two, now he was truly lost.

"But my lady, it is Karstark that has asked for help. It seems only normal for him to go there first. Lord Bolton has been plundering Karstark’s shores for months. Lord Stark thinks that their soils are not fertile enough because of the mineral too much present in them."

"I think so as well. But Lord Bolton should pay to have Karstark’s grain. And he’s robbing it. Bolton spends all he has on the army and war equipment. I fear what he could do. Jory, he’s one of Ned’s most important bannerman, we can’t have him against us."

"I see your point, my lady. But he has made his decision, the North follows strength and he’s expected to go. Even if he knows it’ll toughen things with the Boltons."

Mother fell silent for a moment before kicking the horse away from Jory. It crossed Rickon’s mind that Jory hadn’t been initially invited to this ride, so he supposed that his father must have sent him.

**— Eddard I —**

He watched as his wife and children disappeared in the large wooden gate with a lump in his throat. Ned hated fighting with his wife, especially when the reason that started the fight was Rickard Karstark of all people.

They had spent all morning in his solar working together on wages. They were thoughtfully bent over the desk in a warm and peaceful atmosphere when the bloody raven arrived. Karstark’s letter informed him of repeated attacks upon the village that stood on his side of Last River’s banks. Fishermen and farmers had complained that men with Bolton flags had taken all the grains, leaving nothing to the people and destroying the soils. Karstark’s words kept playing in his mind: _You must punish Bolton_. He had then given the letter to Catelyn.

"What are you going to do Ned?"

"I’ll do what Karstark wants me to do. Stop Bolton." she stood to level him. "And risk having Bolton turn against you? Bolton is a resentful man, you must trade carefully here."

"It’s Karstark that will resent me if I don’t stop him." Catelyn took a step forward to put a hand on his chest. "This doesn’t have to be an armed conflict." That’s when things had gone out of control. He’d looked at her as if she was Sansa’s age and he regretted it. "It already is an armed conflict Catelyn. Do you expect me to solve the North’s disputes by sitting with you here all day?"

He shook his head as to forget the harsh tone he’d been using against her. It wasn’t her fault that Karstark and Bolton couldn’t find an agreement, but he had still found a way to make her think that.

"Karstark tried to talk Bolton out of this mockery and had his lands plundered. You want to talk with the both of them, I’ll have not one but two angry bannermen. People who want to talk get nothing."

She’d been genuinely offended and he saw her eyes fill with anger. After that, he didn’t know much. They’d thrown bitter remarks about the other, commenting their stupid ways of solving problems and inevitably it derived on the one topic that hanged constantly over their marriage: Jon’s mother. At one point she left the solar claiming that talking was indeed pointless when it came to him.  
The next thing he knew was Robb and Sansa coming into his solar for their lesson.

The sound of the door opening made him take his eye off the moors of Winterfell to hear what Robb had to say. Sansa spoke first. "Well, where are they going?"  
Robb sank in a chair and shrugged his shoulders. "She said they were going out for a little ride with Harwin."

Ned sat in his chair and heard himself scold Robb. "Don’t say ‘she’ when you talk about your mother." He rolled his eyes and spoke again. "Mother said they were going out for a little ride with Hullen. She wasn’t happy you told Jory to go with them."

Sansa looked at him. "Why did you tell Jory to go with them?" He almost ignored her question thinking she was a little girl but a small voice reminded him that his daughter was fifteen now. And at fifteen Catelyn had been betrothed already and ran a great house with her father.

"Because I don’t trust Hullen to defend all four of them if harm comes to them." He looked down at the scribbles he’d done while working on wages. "And because your mother was upset. I know Jory to be good with words." Robb intently looked at him searching for more answers. "Is it because of Karstark?"

He considered the question and took the letter out of a drawer. If he was to give them lessons about ruling a castle, this was good training. Robb and Sansa took more time to read the letter as if they were searching for any clues. Any advice was welcomed then.  
Meanwhile, Ned gazed at the window knowing all too well he had avoided Robb’s question. His children didn’t need to know why their mother and he had yelled for all Winterfell to hear. He closed his eyes a moment and fragments of his fight with Catelyn came back to him.

She stared at him in disbelief. "They are both your bannermen! And this is not only about how involved you are in Karstark and Bolton’s conflict anymore. It is about how willing you seem to prove me wrong every single time! " Ned straightened and approached his face from hers. His voice was low and threatening because Karstark’s words were bitter still.

"He requested that of me Cat. I have no choice. He said: ‘ _You must punish Bolton, I won’t have a traitor in the North._ ’ Was I not liege lord do you think I would like being ordered around? Do you think I like the prospect of leaving you and the children? I did nothing that could possibly make you angry at me. "

"It is never about you is it. Nothing is ever your fault because the honorable Lord Stark always makes the right choices! " He could hear the animosity in her voice as she stood and paced in the room. "You always make the damn good choices and you don’t even let me be angry at you! Do you know how frustrating this is? Do you know how it feels to be judged by the whole north because you decided to rise your bastard in Winterfell was honorable? What worth is your word Ned? How do you think it makes me feel to see you honor each of your vows except the one you made to me? "  
He stood and tried to keep his breathing under control. "This has nothing to do with Jon." She took a step closer. "Everything begins with Jon. "

He easily towered her but she refused to back down."How dare you talk to me like this Catelyn! "

" Oh I beg you pardon _my lord_ , now that I hurt your honor you feel concerned about what I say? Or is it because you care more for your bastard’s well-being rather than your trueborns’s? What if Karstark and Bolton kill each other? Do we go through a northern war because you vowed your sword to them both? What did you vow to me, Ned? "

She was infuriating and he knew he’d have to put an end to this conversation very soon if she kept bringing Jon into it. But she was hurt and blaming him with everything she had and he knew it was because no matter what she said, he would do as honor would demand in the end. "Catelyn stop this now. " It did seem to always come back to Jon, to Jon’s mother.

"Stop what? Is it painful for you to be reminded of what _you_ did? " Her blue eyes bore a pain of something he never did, but she didn’t know, she couldn’t know.

"When do I get to say stop Ned? To whom can I say anything? " She went to the window and painfully exhaled. "You won’t talk of her, and you won’t let me talk of her. It’s fine… It's always the same damn thing. " She crossed her arms, hugging herself, and leaned against the wall. Ned saw a tear roll down her cheek and when he approached to touch her, she stepped away from him.  
"I won’t." He said "But do know that, despite appearances, I hold no vow more seriously than the one I’ve taken to you. "

She scoffed looking at him "Then your vows mustn’t be worth much. "

"Well, obviously Lord Karstark wants you to go to the Karhold." Robb’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he almost got thankful for it because he didn’t want to recall what had happened next.

"I wonder what would happen if you go to the Karhold." Robb began. "Because if you do go, then  
Karstark will be satisfied. You’ll be on his side and Bolton will have no choice but to pay his debts. But then that would make Bolton angry."  
Sansa nodded, deep in reflection. "Yes, but if he’s truly at fault then he won’t do anything else than being angry. I mean Father can find proofs. And everyone in the North knows that Bolton is hot-tempered, Father won’t have to take any blame at all."

As Ned listened to his children discuss it occurred to him that Sansa seemed to have his position too on the matter when Robb seemed to share Catelyn’s thoughts. Robb had said it was probably best to find a solution together rather than one against another. Not once while they were talking did one yell at the other. Ned reflected upon his relationship with Catelyn and how quickly their discussion had grown into an argument.

"Father?" Once more Ned was snapped out of his thoughts. "Father, what will you do then?"

He went to stand where Catelyn had. "I must put an end to this. I will go to the Karhold and if necessary summon Lord Bolton there. Last Hearth is not too far away, I’ll have Jon Umber witnessing every decision taken."

When he looked outside, he noticed dark threatening clouds sprawl across the moors, the second that followed was filled with a deafening crack of thunder, it became a rolling sound that dissipated in the air. The hailing of the wind sounded like a promise of a downpour. His thought instantly went to his family that was horse riding somewhere under the charcoal sky.

"It’s nasty" He titled his head on the side to see that both Robb and Sansa were looking out the window as well. Sansa wrapped an arm around his and leaned into his side. "I hope they haven't gone too far." Ned put his hand over hers striking it lightly. "It’s all right. They must be on their way back." Just then, the rain began to fall in drops the size of grapes and it became a wall of water. People in the courtyard were running and soon barely visible so much the thick sheets of rain obscured the vision.

The rational part of his mind told him that thunderstorms were normal during spring but Catelyn’s faithful voice came unbidden to him saying the gods didn’t agree with his decision and made themselves heard.

"Robb, have someone fetch towels and warm coats to the stables. They’ll be drenched if the rain caught them."

**— Catelyn I —**

_Oh great, just great._

Catelyn held strongly onto the reins with one hand and held Rickon with the other. After the first crack of the thunder had pierced the silence, Chollima had been out of control and Catelyn feared for Rickon who was now holding tightly on the saddle before her. Arya’s horse was fearful as well but her girl seemed to manage the mare just fine.

"My lady! We must hurry back to Winterfell!" Harwin screamed through the downpour. Her hair was wet, her clothes were wet, every single damn thing was wet. She approached Harwin’s horse as best as she could. "We can’t. The rain is too thick, we can’t see ten feet ahead of us." Screamed Jory back. Rickon whimpered so she let go of the reins to hold him. "It’s all right sweetling. It’s just very inconvenient." Her words only fuelled his fear and he buried himself in her embrace. At least Rickon could be somehow protected by the large woolen cape she wore.

Jory trotted to them, she noticed how narrowed his eyes were due to the howling wind surrounding them. "We must find somewhere to camp."

"Camp?" Bran’s voice sounded like a scream.

"Yes, little lord. There’s no way we can go back." He looked around as if it could help. "I think there’s a path somewhere around here."

Catelyn followed Jory in the dark mass ahead of them. It was a pinewood with giant pines whose foliage blocked any sun rays, not that there was any sun at the moment. The path was narrow and Catelyn recalled the many times she’d been through thunderstorms in the Riverlands. "Jory, we mustn’t stay here too long. The Wolfswood isn’t safe, pins can catch fire easily."

"Not with that rain my lady."

The rain was lighter inside the wood, it couldn’t pass as much as if they were on the moors. They dismounted their horses, their legs sore from riding, and Jory found a large boulder curved enough to protect them from the rain. If the weather wasn’t too cold, the wind certainly was. Catelyn adjusted her hood around her head lest freezing to death.

"Arya, Bran, come here." Her two other children came to sit beside her, tucking their legs against their chests and leaning against her. She noticed Harwin and Jory standing suspiciously where the rain fell like a curtain from the rock. "There’s nothing we can do. Please come sit."

"My lady?" Harwin looked at her stunned, his arms crossed.

"Oh, it’s all right. You must protect from the wind as well." Catelyn waved to the empty space on Bran’s other side for them to sit. Harwin and Jory hesitantly came to sit by her but settled quite swiftly. The relief on their faces made her smile.

Arya shifted beside her, her grey eyes looking up as best with a hood covering half her face. "How long do you think it will last?" A gust a wind engulfed their shelter, pulling all hoods off heads. Catelyn wrapped her arm tighter around Arya’s shoulders to protect her from the wind. "I fear we’ll have to stay here for some time."

After that, silence fell upon the small team. Half an hour turned into half a day, the storm didn’t go away ever. Not once did Catelyn close her eyes, she gazed at the three children against her and prayed to the gods for the storm to pass. She had wrapped all three of them with her cape but only Rickon was truly protected from the wind and seeing Arya, Bran, Harwin, and Jory with thin tunics only made her shiver.

The tip of her fingers she could no longer feel and breathing was painful from the cold. With everyone half asleep she stopped pushing Ned out of her mind and let herself recall their fight earlier and how sorry she was for it now that she wasn’t with him, safe and in Winterfell.

 _Then your vows mustn’t be worth much_. Ned had paced angrily in the solar after she’d said those words. _Those terrible words_. He broke the silence with infinite more frightening words.

"Oh, I beg your pardon _my lady_ for having married you!" He’d grunted in wrath, taking steps closer to her with each word. "Of course you would have been so much happier had you wed Brandon! Is that what you mean Catelyn? Brandon was not so cold faced, he expressed his feelings, everyone worshiped him, he surely would have fucked you better than I. Yet, I know you keep thinking you would have had to deal with way more than one bastard had you married him!"

She’d boiled in rage and now that she looked back on herself she must have looked like a mad wilding, but she’d been terrified. "How dare you? How dare you speak to me like that! You have no idea of what I think, you know nothing of how I feel! How could you? You expect me to understand you all the time, you always come to me complaining about your little insecurities. But in the end, you never listen to me! You are the lord of Winterfell, not some whiney child Ned!"

Catelyn sensed her eyelids tighten when the sound of plates, glasses, and furniture shattering to the floor echoed in her mind. Ned knocking the table over was the closest she’d gotten from hatred.

The door opened and Luwin had peeked his head in. "My Lord, my Lady, is everything all ri-" Ned walked to the door screaming. "Get lost!"

He whirled around and walked to her, his face inches away from hers. "You can’t mean a thing of what you’ve said Cat, I don’t believe a word. » Her eyes, a shade darker out of anger, challenged his. "I did. I meant every single word of it." He grabbed her face with his hand. "To hell with Brandon. I love you Cat, you are mine. My wife." Before she’d known what to say he had his lips on hers, it had nothing to do with the tender embraces they ordinarily shared. This was painful and full of anger. His hands were pulling her to him in the most erratic way. « Get off me, Ned! Get off me »

She’d pushed him back and her hand flew uncontrollably to his cheek. She could recall the stinging sensation it had left in her palm then. "You’re right. Talking with you is useless." She had stormed out of the solar and went to the Sept where she had cried until Septa Mordane had come. Then she went to find Arya, Bran, and Rickon for the ride.

She swallowed hard. Catelyn couldn’t believe she hit her lord and husband in such a way.  
She resented him for forcing himself on her but she also knew it was how a wedding could be. Her wedding had always been respectful, unlike some unfortunate ones where kindness wasn’t even a thing, and where violence was normal. But never had she heard of a wife hitting her husband, and she felt ashamed of it. She’d seen the look on his face, it was perplexity, anger, and disappointment. The gods had seen her too, and this downpour was her punishment for acting so foolishly towards her husband.

A feeling of dampness under her pulled her out of her thoughts. She could feel the water seeping through her dress, she knew her backside would be brown with wet mud.

"It hasn’t gone any better, the rain, has it?" She turned her head to see Jory staring outside. "No. And it’s getting dark." She wondered how she could be cold at night in her chambers with a fire and Ned’s arms around her. _This_ was cold.

"You should try to rest my lady. I fear we won’t be leaving now that its nightfall."

"We really are going to spend the night here?" Bran said with eagerness in his voice. "But father is probably looking for us." Jory shrugged his shoulder. "If he was, he would have found us. But I fear he can’t find much with this rain and fog." He paused. "It’s going to be cold be we’ll be all right."

Catelyn sighed, she would have gone back to Winterfell this instant if it was only her. It couldn’t be worse to be wet and in Winterfell than wet and outside. But for the sake of her children she listened to Jory, he had spent more nights outside than she had. The rain plunking on the muddy earth and the battering sound of rain rocked her to an unrestful slumber.

Catelyn must have fallen asleep at some point because Rickon’s excited voice pulled her out of her slumber with panic.

"It’s morning! Mother, it’s morning!"

She opened her eyes to see the dim light of the morning spread through the trees. It took her a moment to realize where she was and how she ended up sleeping on the ground with Winterfell’s captain of the guard and Harwin. Rickon’s voice had woken up everyone, they all looked at each other in confusion. _The rain_. Catelyn looked outside to see the rain still falling but way less than the night before, thunder could no longer be heard.  
Bran bolted to where Rickon stood outside, amazed by having slept outside in the forest. As an adventurer, she thought.

Arya was leaning still against her, her eyes were open, and looked sleepily at her brothers and the two guards. She mumbled something incoherent to Catelyn.

"Come on Arya. Let’s see if we can get home." Her voice own sounded way too hoarse. Slowly she got up and Jory offered his hand for support. It felt as if she had been bruised in every corner. Her legs were weak and shaky under her weight. Pain rushed through her body like crackling ice and Catelyn squeezed her eyes shut to make it go away.

"My lady?" Jory held her by the waist the next second.

"I fear it is cold." She smiled up at him but the truth was she wanted to lay back down on the ground and never get up again. She took a look at the people surrounding her. They ere all covered in mud, it went up to Bran’s collar and Harwin had some in his hair. She didn’t want to know what she looked like, all she knew was the wet dress sticking to her skin. She breathed in the earthy smell of wildflowers and rotting wood around her. The horse ride had taken quite an unexpected turn and she would have preferred to never leave Winterfell.  
Catelyn bit her lip when she felt the muscles tighten in her throat, and with the soreness and growing headache, she didn’t need a maester to know she’d gotten sick overnight.

Harwin and Jory brought the horses nearer, they were all drenched. "Well, let’s go then." Said Bran.  
She was about to walk up to Chollima when it suddenly struck her that Arya had not moved at all. When she turned around, Arya was trying to stand up.

"Arya?" Catelyn walked to her ignoring the pain in her back. Her face was very pale and contrasted with the purpleness of her lips tightly pressed together. She wrapped her arm around Arya’s waist for support much like Jory had done earlier and Arya stumbled in her arms right then. The weight surprised her and she cried out for help. "Jory! Jory!"

The tall man hurried to her side and lifted Arya in his arms. Catelyn felt her heartache at the sight of Arya lying almost unconscious and sick in his arms. She ran her fingers across Arya’s forehead to push the wet hair off it. Fear for her daughter gripped her by the guts.

"We must go. Maester Luwin must see her."

Riding was way tougher than she would have believed. She hadn’t known when she awoke how tired she truly was. Her eyelids were heavy and each of Chollima’s stride felt like being struck by hundreds of bolts of lightning. Catelyn looked at Arya, she was held safely by Jory on his horse but kept moaning in discomfort and pain. They couldn’t be more than an hour away from Winterfell but it felt too long and too painful. Rickon drowsed against her making everything more difficult, even staying on the horse was difficult.

Eagerness and dread filled her at the thought of Winterfell, she couldn’t wait to have everyone safely home but on the other hand, she feared to see her husband. She feared something was broken and unfixable between them, she feared what he would say about this terrible ride, about Arya, and about the future.

At last, she heard a horn blow somewhere from afar, and caught sight of Winterfell… At this point everything was blurry. The last of her strength went to the relief of knowing her children were brought back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so they're back home but will this be enough?
> 
> Comments and kudos are very appreciated ! ♥️
> 
> For latin's sake:  
> Arya's horse, Astutus, means 'cunning'  
> Bran's horse, Aquilo, means 'North Wind'  
> Catelyn's horse, Chollima: 'One Thousand Mile Horse' (but this one's from Chinese mythology, I think..)


	2. To find a shelter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the horn blew, but is this a good thing?

— **Eddard II** —

Minutes turned into hours and no sign of Catelyn or his children had been reported. It was nearly nightfall and he’d sent three dozen guards to patrol the surroundings despite everyone’s advice.

They told him there was no use in going outside at the moment, no one could see with this rain. They told him they couldn’t know where they were and patrolling was highly risking the guards’ lives. They told him they had probably found a shelter and would come back once the rain stopped.

When he went to the stables determined to go there himself, even his horse had been reculant to go outside in the thunderstorm. They said they were safe. But no one could know.

Ned sat at his desk looking into the void. He knew he was being unreasonable but the possibility of Catelyn, Arya, Bran, or Rickon hurt, and him not being able to help, was too much. He gazed at Robb and Sansa who had been with him all day and slept in the armchairs by the fire.

They had tried to give him hope but he could see none in this story. All his life he had tried to live by a code, he had tried to be honorable and just. He’d fitted his rule according to the man he wanted to be. But it was tough. And he didn’t know if he could be that man because he’d both failed in politics and love. He knew Catelyn would never want to talk to him, and he couldn’t even think of himself as good after he said such horrible words. None of his words made sense. He was desperate to see her, but he could never see her again if in her anger’s recklessness she had put the children in danger.

The knock at the door startled him and he found himself hoping for a brief moment. "My lord." Rodrik Cassel appeared. The man was drenched and the hardness on his face told him they hadn’t been found. He heard Robb and Sansa rise beside him. "We’ve done everything we could my lord but the rain is too heavy and the darkness has come." Ned nodded absentmindedly looking anywhere but someone.

"But have torches lightened then," Sansa said irritated. "The rain Sansa." Robb said just as annoyed by the situation.

"But we can’t leave them out here all night! Father." Sansa walked up to him, her eyes hard but full of concern. He wanted to say the same to his master at arms but he knew how there was nothing that could be done at this point.

He turned to Rodrik. "We’ll look for them in the morning. Have the men rested." He nodded and bowed to Robb and Sansa, then left.

Ned looked at his children. "Go to your rooms children. " Robb shook his head. "No, I’m staying with you."

"Me too." Sansa said. "I want to be here."

So they sat in his solar for hours. Eventually, Robb and Sansa both fell asleep on the pallets that had been brought up to his solar, but he couldn’t sleep. The day kept playing in his mind, from the blissful morning he had spent here with Cat to the fight that ended up with slamming doors and finally the unbearable worry his family’s absence caused.

Late in the night he grabbed a pen and scribbled a letter for Catelyn. The feelings he felt were numerous but no word felt right. He tried to put together apologies and explanations but always ended up scratching the whole sentence. He could easily forgive the slapping, it’s all he deserved after he’d thrown himself on her like a beast. Truth be told, he could forgive her anything because what she said made sense. On the other hand, what he had said was just mean and purely out of anger.

He didn’t know how long he tried to write the damn letter but suddenly the sound of a horn resonated and it frightened him. He looked up to see that it was way past morning already. "Robb, Sansa, wake up!" He yelled when he walked past them on his way to the door. Ned descended the steps two by two and he could see that other people hurried around him too. On his way to the courtyard, he met Maester Luwin with Jon and Theon. "It’s them, my Lord!" Luwin said. Ned then recalled being terribly mean to the maester the day before, they hadn’t seen since he’d yelled at him.

Winterfell had never seemed larger. It felt like the courtyard leading to the South gate was as vast as the North. Guardsmen and servants were gathered in the courtyard and all looking at the people approaching. They were here.

Customarily, people were welcomed with cheers but only silence hovered the courtyard as all six of them penetrated within the castle walls. They were ghostly figures seemingly back from the deepest swamps of the Neck. He noticed his wife with Rickon who was holding steadily the saddle and waving at him with a grin, then he saw Bran trotting rapidly inside. Then he saw Arya and his heart sunk at the deepest part of his soul, she was curled up against Jory and seemed lifeless.

"Arya!" He rushed to the horse stopping it and he heard himself order Jory to give him his daughter back. She gave no sign of life as he held her. "Arya?" She whimpered and opened her grey eyes weakly. "Father." He let out a sound of pain and relief and kissed her cheek. "It’s okay, you’re home, you’re safe love."

He caught sight of Robb and Sansa beside him but he couldn’t take his eyes off his daughter. From what he saw he could tell she was very cold and her skin was pale, if not blue. "She’s on the brink of hypothermia, Luwin!"

"Mother!" Robb yelled. Ned couldn’t take his eyes off Arya until he was sure she would be okay. "Cat, how could you let this happen?" He reculantly looked up when he heard people gasp around. The very moment he turned his head to scold his wife he saw her slipping from the horse and Robb rushing to catch her.

It took him a moment to understand Arya was not the only one hurt. Suddenly he blamed himself, if he had not been so stubborn, he would have dared to look her in the eyes and see that she was not well. But instead, he just looked at Rickon.

He didn’t find his voice as he watched Robb struggle with Catelyn and Rickon. The next second, Jory was off his horse and lifting his unconscious Catelyn in his arms. Ned felt like he was torn in two, he wanted to get Arya to safety at once and hold Catelyn close to him and never let her go again.

"Jory! Robb! What’s wrong!" Rickon cried from Robb’s arms as he witnessed Jory walking silently to the Great Keep with Catelyn in his arms. He stopped in front of him. "My lord, I am taking Lady Stark to her chambers. Please send Maester Luwin there when he’s done with Lady Arya."

He nodded stupidly, he had lost all his means, and only seeing his wife and daughter healthy again could help him understand what was going on. The people around were silent and useless, his children were frantic and a thin rain continued to fall from the sky. Ned took a deep breath and found Luwin. "Come on. We’ll take care of her in the stables, we can't put her in a place that's too hot right now. The temperature difference would cause thermal shock." When he turned to see his wife again, he saw that her red hair had slipped out of the hood and it was silently flying in the wind, it brought him a terrible feeling of abandonment, fear, and remorse. His heart ached when the words he had just said to her came to his mind. ‘ _How could you let this happen’_. _How could I let this happen_ , he thought.

He walked rapidly to the stables with Luwin and other people that held covers and food and other things. He lay Arya on a pile of dried straw and snatched covers from someone’s hands. Luwin sat by her and examined her.

"This must have been provoked by the cold rains. But it’s a good thing. It preserved her from frostbites." Ned watched his daughter’s face intently as Luwin examined her. Then Bran was at his side.

"Bran, tell me what happened." Ned took a look at his son for the first time too, he seemed exhausted and was wrapped up to the nose in furs. He didn’t even know what happened after he had last seen them yesterday in the courtyard.

Bran sat beside Arya on the straw. "Everything was fine yesterday and suddenly, out of nowhere the thunderstorm came. Given how much it rained, Jory said it was best to find a shelter until it passed. So we went in the wolfswood, I think. It was a pinewood and we found somewhere to shelter. It was a large rock but it wasn’t even a cave. So all night there was water falling on us and all. But Rickon and I were more protected from the damp ground because we had mother and Jory around us. We stayed there all night and this morning Arya barely moved and she kind of was like she is now. She did stand but only to fall right after. So Jory took her with him on the horse."

They were all silent and staring at Arya. It terrified Ned to picture his family as Bran had described, _I should have been here_. "Arya, Arya can you open your eyes for me?" Luwin bent over her as she slowly opened her eyelids for him. "Good, good Arya." Luwin looked at him. "Her pupils aren’t dilated. She shall be fine. Let us wait until her blood heats up and then we’ll take her to her chamber where she’ll rest and regain strength."

Ned heard Jon speak from behind him. "I’ll stay with her."

Luwin nodded gratefully and stood. "Wait, that’s it?" Ned stared at the man. "Yes my lord. As I said, Lady Arya will be fine as soon as her blood heats up. She came home right in time and avoided any severe injuries or illness. Now, I must go to Lady Stark at once. I didn’t like that fainting one bit." The words sank in his mind and chilled him to the bone. Luwin was already on his feet ready to leave so Ned pressed a kiss to Arya’s forehead. "Rest my Arya." He turned to Jon. "You don’t leave her alone for a second, you hear me?"

Jon nodded solemnly and sat next to Bran, he carefully took Arya’s hand in his and Ned saw the pain on Jon’s face. Jon and Arya were possibly the closest and adored each other fondly, no wonder his son wanted to be here for her.

"Lord Stark, I must go." He breathed in and stood to follow Luwin to Catelyn’s chamber. Leaving Arya was as painful as going to Catelyn. _I didn’t like that fainting one bit_. The word played in his mind and for as much as he tried to recall her face, he couldn’t. He had looked at Rickon only.

When he came inside the chamber, the first thing he noticed was Robb bending thoroughly over the large bed.

"Luwin! Where’s Arya?" He stood immediately to face them. "She needs to rest Robb, she’ll be fine, I’m sure."

Ned barely listened to Luwin after that, his eyes were on Catelyn only. She was laying on her back, her head fell slightly to the side only to disappear in the mass of pillows. Her face wasn’t pale like Arya but it hadn’t its usual color, and he immediately noticed the burning flush in her cheeks. _Fever_. She’d been stripped of the drenched gown and was in her shift only. It was just as wet as the robe and stuck to her skins. _Or maybe it’s the sweat_. He also noticed the dirt on her skin.

Jory stood in the corner silently, their eyes met.

"My lord."

"Thank you for carrying Lady Catelyn here Jory." Ned’s eyes roamed the room and he noticed the trout brooch in Robb’s hand a felt relieved knowing it hadn’t been his captain of guards that had stripped his wife.

"She’s burning up." Robb said mentioning Catelyn.

Maester Luwin came to sit on the bed and examined her much like he had done with Arya. _Even her hand is hot_. Her lips were puffed out but slightly opened, the air seemed to get caught in her throat at each intake of breath.

"Jory, tell me how was lady Catelyn this morning?" said Luwin.

The captain of guards came closer to the bed. "She barely slept. In the morning, she winced in pain when she stood up. And she blamed the cold for sore muscles saying it was fine and that we had to get home but I could see she wasn’t fine, she kept rubbing her temples. And then, I could see it was painful for her to ride I think she’s exhausted, my lord."

Then Luwin asked Robb and himself to help him put Catelyn in a seated position so he could hear her lungs. Cat was not made out of glass but he certainly handled her so then. Robb’s eyes were hard but Ned could see the worry he had always shown for Cat.

"The fainting and sore muscles are from the tiredness, lady Catelyn’s body is indeed beyond exhaustion. I’m a bit more worried about her breathing. I think it is a chest cold, it should pass on its own but we’ll keep a close eye on it."

Robb took her hand and pressed a kiss there. "How come?"

"The freezing wind must have irritated her lungs."

"When will she wake up?" Robb insisted.

"Her body needs to rest. Tomorrow, at best." Luwin looked around the chamber. "We should open the window. Lady Arya needs to warm up, and Lady Catelyn needs to cool down for now. I’ll have maids bring cool clothes to put on her forehead."

"Is it contagious?" Robb asked again.

Luwin shook his head. "No. But keep Rickon far from the room." Ned’s brow furrowed. Luwin continued. "We wouldn’t want him to wake the lady before she’s fully ready to wake up."

Everyone left the room and Ned sat still on the side of the bed. _She’s sleeping, it’s all right. She’s just sleeping._ He lightly stroke her cheek with his thumb. He’d imagined the thousands of words he wanted to tell her when she would come back but he never thought the circumstances would be so sorrowful. He had written about how sorry he was for mentioning Brandon, he had considered telling her the truth about Jon’s mother, he wanted to tell her that he had to protect the North and had to go to the Karhold. But now everything was different.

"Oh gods…" he sighed and closed his eyes.

Robb and Sansa’s mutter pulled him out of his slumber. "Oh Father, you’re awake. Should I call for her maid? She wouldn’t like being covered in mud so." Sansa offered in a sweet voice. He looked at Cat, her hands were black from the mud and the leather reins. Her ankles had dried mud stuck to them and it went on to her hair.

"No Sansa, she must rest. It can wait until tomorrow." He squeezed her hand on last time and stood up. "Let’s go to my solar children, you must eat something."

— **Sansa I** —

The hot basin of water was heavy and not easy to handle at all in the uneven stone steps of the great keep. Sansa caught sight of a guard at the top of the stairs. "Alebelly!"

The man that had guarded her mother’s chamber for more years than Sansa could recall rushed to help her. He easily lifted the basin and carried it to the door with her. Sansa opened the door without knocking, it was pointless.

"Milady?" He froze on his feet with his fingers clutching the basin’s handles.

"Please, put the basin by the bed." Sansa entered, she had enough of seeing her mother all dirty. If father thought it could wake her up then she’d do it even more. _Mother has slept enough_. She turned her head to see Alebelly standing still at the door. The man could keep the room but had probably never been inside the room.

"It’s okay Alebelly. My mother would be okay with this."

Sansa went to the back room and retrieved her mother’s washing stuff. When she came back the guard had left and the basin had been put on a chair right by the bed. She noticed her father’s nightshirt hanging on the back of the chair. _Of course, you slept here,_ she thought. She sat on the edge and gazed at her mother, the fever was still burning and her eyes tightly shut. The day before, Arya managed to eat on her own but they had to give mother honey and water. Robb insisted on doing it despite her father’s advice who wanted Luwin only to do it.

Sansa plunged the sponge in the dark bronze basin and washed the mud and dust off her mother’s fair skin. She did it repeatedly until she was sure there was none left, not even on her shoulder blades. She knew a maid should have done it but the smell of tuberose scented water brought comfort to her, it was the closest she could get from her mother at the moment.

Thoughts of her father came back to her, he’d been very silent ever since they had come back from the dreadful ride. Robb and she had talked, they knew it was because of the fight from two days ago. The silence around only made the sound of her own thinking louder. Then she turned her head, jumping she saw her mother gazing at her.

"Mother! You’re awake!"

"Hmm"

She noticed how she struggled so she helped her in a seated position and placed pillows behind her. Then she sat and marveled at the sight. "Oh, I’m so happy to see you awake." Her mother smiled weakly. "I should get maester Luwin. Oh, and Father, he’ll want to see you. And Robb to, he told me to-" Mother interrupted her.

"Peace Sansa. Give us a moment." She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes again. Sansa stared at her. "Does it hurt?" Just then her mother held back a cough that shook her shoulders anyway.

"A little. It’s uncomfortable." Then her eyes looked around. "Arya?"

Sansa chuckled, of course, she would ask for Arya first. "She’s fine. Luwin says you came back in time. She was very cold but she’s getting better and she has enough strength to walk around. She was here earlier. We all were. Except for Rickon. Luwin and father feared he would wake you up, and you needed to sleep." Something changed in her eyes, a moment ago Sansa was sure to see relief but now she could only see apprehension.

"Your father was here?" _Ah, that’s what it is about_.

"Of course. He left your side only to see Arya."

She nodded, another cough shook her body. She steadied her breathing and looked up. "Please Sansa, I’d like to see maester Luwin, could you find him for me?"

She bent and carefully wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck. "I’m glad you’re okay. You gave us quite a scare yesterday when you fell from that horse." She felt her mother give the hug back then press kisses on her temple.

She left the room happier than she had entered it and headed to Arya’s room where she knew maester Luwin and her father to be. They were all here and looked at her when she opened the door smiling. "Sansa!" Rickon jumped in her arms. "Did you see mother?" Sansa gasped and father stared at her. His hard face said it all, she could hear the scolding; _‘I told you she needed to rest’._ "Yes, actually… I came here to tell you she woke up." She felt all the heaviness of stares which quickly turned into grins and smiles.

"Why didn’t you say so right away!" Robb whined and walked past her.

"I just…"

"Yayyy" Rickon screamed in her arms. She hurried to the door and grabbed Robb by the arm. "Wait." Sansa paused. "She wanted to see maester Luwin first." Then she met her father’s eyes. He was happy, relieved, terrified, and disappointed at the same time she could tell. " I guess it’s up to you whether you want to go or not." She added in a small voice.

— **Catelyn II** —

Catelyn looked after her daughter once she had disappeared in the door. The tightness in her throat was very annoying and so was the ache in every member of her body.

Luwin would know best what had happened after they came back, and she feared what the sight of Ned would do to her.

There was a knock and the door creaked open. Luwin. "My lady?" She didn’t like the sound of her voice, it was heavy. "Come in."

He quickly came to her and then Catelyn actually felt disappointed at not seeing Ned with him. _He was by my side_.

Luwin smiled widely at her and talked with the soft voice she heard only when he addressed her children. "It is good to see you awake my lady." She smiled back, acknowledging the man who was family rather than just a maester. "How are you feeling?" He sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on her forehead.

"Not so good." She paused and asked him in an inaudible voice. "Sansa said I fell from a horse."

He looked puzzled for a second and then nodded. "I’m not surprised you don’t remember. I suppose you were too tired to know anything. You slipped off Chollima just when you arrived in the courtyard. Robb caught you."

 _Oh… Robb._ "Tell me, Arya?"

He counted how Arya had been terrifyingly close to death and her recovery, then Luwin explained how her own exhaustion was a reason enough to weaken the body, enough to make one sick. "I knew I was sick." He looked quizzically at her. "My throat hurt already. But it’ll be fine"

Luwin asked several questions about her night out in the rainy forest and then examined her. She felt like she would burn up, the fire in the room was only a mere reflection of the flame within her blood at the moment. It was silent as he palpated at her throat. "Can you be sick out of worry?" She heard herself ask and scolded herself for letting it out. He straightened seriously. "Out of anxiety? Yes. "

She sighed. "Now out of any other time… " She bit her lip and felt a child all over again. "Luwin, I don’t know what lord Stark might have told you but… I apologize. He shouldn’t have spoken to you so in the solar."

"I thank you, my lady. And since you mention your husband, let me tell you he barely left your side." Her heart winced in pain, _well he isn’t here now, is he?_

"And I advise you let him come in now before Alebelly thinks a wilding possesses him."

She looked up at the maester in confusion. "He’s pacing at the door now." Luwin’s face had not changed but she could hear the smile in his words. He was behind the door. "He is?" He nodded. "If you don’t have any further need of me my lady I will go."

"Of course." She answered, but her mind was already half focused on what would happen once Luwin

would leave the room. Her cheeks burned furiously and it was not the fever, every single breath was hard to manage due to the tightness in her throat.

"Catelyn."

The ground, bed, and every single thing linking her to reality collapsed under her, an unavoidable feeling of falling gripped her heart and she felt dizzy at the sound of his voice only. It was grey, it had always been grey, she felt like swimming in a smoky ocean when her eyes met his. Her lips parted but no sound came out, she lay on her bed silently and watched as he stepped forward to sit on the chair nearby.

 _Is this the end Ned?_ His face wore an unreadable expression, it chilled her to think she could no longer know what his mind though, it chilled her to think only those he loved could read him. When she had felt herself flying in the air, she now felt a weight crash upon her shoulders, as if all the years they had spent together were crumbling down.

Suddenly she was talking. _Nonsense_. She was reaching out to the smallest stone shard that had once been the rock her life was built on.

"I can explain everything, my lord. Please let me make fix everything. I know I was wrong, so terribly wrong to tell you all those horrors, it was anger talking and I should have never let it come out. Please hear me. I never thought a word of it. I am so sorry, I was irresponsible and reckless and the children… I never wanted harm to come to them, I promise you, I would never want to hurt our children… That is if you still think of me as their mother. I would understand Ned, and I would understand if you don’t want to see me anymore. But for the love of the Seven hear that I - "

"Hush."

His voice was an ice dagger, she’d been stabbed. Then all the hopes she’d built while talking crumbled down once more and there was no way of moving. His eyes stared into hers and never had it felt so intrusive, threatening, and intrigued before. No shift, covers, furs, and fire could cover the apparent goosebumps on her skin.

 _Winter is coming_ she thought.

A dark wave of understanding crawled up to her heart and mind. She’d seen her husband dismiss people before, small folks, lords and ladies, even the king, and he was about to dismiss her. She broke the gaze and her eyes fell on her hands, firmly shut together. She would not cry, she’d not let him see the moist in her eyes. She had to be stronger. _Duty, honor_. She still had that.

Then she saw his hand slowly settling above hers and rubbing the skin there. It was warmer than expected, it was warmer than anything she felt at the moment.

"Peace my lady."

His face was frozen still but the warmth in his touch was burning. Catelyn saw herself back at the beginning of their wedding when they didn’t know each other but still cared. The stroking stopped, the sorrow did too.

"How are you feeling?"

Catelyn barely registered the words at first. _Destroyed, sorry, hopeful_. Many things came to her but she only understood the meaning of his words when his palm was on her forehead and checking her temperature. _He cares_.

"Relieved" she said in a small voice. "For Arya." Only one or two words could come out of her mouth now when she’d poured an alarming amount a minute ago.

"Are you comfortable like that? Do I feed the fire or open the window?" Now she was the one staring at him, he was seemingly back to the Ned she knew, making small jokes about their temperature preferences.

"I am fine…" she paused "thank you". She fell silent again and he stared at her again. At one point she wondered if the castle had fallen silent with them too. No guards, horses, or torches could be heard.

Ned stood only to sit on the edge of the bed. She eyed each of his movements, unsure of what to do or say. "The confusion on your face leaves me no choice but to talk Cat." She frowned at knowing he still had the ability to read her face.

"Some things in our argument cannot be ignored Catelyn. I know you know this. We said cruel things but, if we put aside anger, some of them are true. It does not please me to mention them, but we will have to." Then he stuttered. "I am deeply sorry for thinking I could ever touch or kiss you without your consent. Thinking of hurting you makes me miserable. Truly. And I deserved the slapping, do not trouble yourself over it."

The moist in her eyes could no longer be hidden from him since they were perfect round tears rolling down her cheeks.

"And do not think you are not the children’s mother. You are their mother and I will never think otherwise. You also are my wife, and I will never think otherwise either. It won’t be easy Cat, there’s some road ahead of us, but I do want to take it, with you, to you. And I hope you’ll walk with me."

In her entire life with Ned she had never heard him say so much about how he felt, she’d known him, understood him but not heard him. _Talking with you is useless_. She recalled what she’d said, had she been wrong? Had she changed something?

"I will." When she contemplated her future, anger or not, arguments, kings, wars or not, Ned was always in it. "I understand why we must talk. And I want to."

"Good. I would have had no other answer, my love." His eyes were soft, Catelyn even caught sight of a certain gleam she knew was called love and echoed his words. His hand cupped her cheek and she leaned in the touch, it felt like home. "You’re burning." Once more she misunderstood the words and thought he was talking of the flame that had just burst in her heart at the feeling of his hand. But again, it was the fever.

"I will stay in Winterfell for as long as Arya and you recover. Then I’ll go to the Karhold and do what I think best." She felt glad and sorry, glad he was willing to put aside his lord duties for their daughter - for not all men cared so for their daughter -, and sorry he ended up choosing to support Karstark. But he was her husband and lord, and if she wanted things to work, she had to act like she was worth being his wife and lady. _Family, duty, honor_. The road seemed to be strewn with bumps and crossroads, but if Ned was with her, she would go without hesitation. Backward, running, dancing, she would go with him, always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Et voilà! Hoped you weren't disappointed! Love you all,  
> This is the the end of this story but not their story...
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated ♥️


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